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I have never been one to make a to-do list. Mainly because they never get done and they never get done because I don't like my life to be super tidy; I enjoy the spontaneity of things. However. This is what I found myself finishing yesterday afternoon:
Yeah.
I feel like my whole life has been put into short, succinct lists so I can get a quick snapshot of what's been happening and then move onto the next. Since we're on a listomania of sorts, here's what's been going on since last time I wrote:
1) Juniors found the crook with fifteen minutes to spare: If I had known in kindergarten that I would one day be rocking out some sweet dance moves and pig noses in Corn and digging in the ground looking for an inch of a stick, I would have laughed at myself. Halie Sue, I am forever indebted to you, you champ.
2) My room has added a new component of messiness: pillows.
3) I got a new phone: It's purple, sassy, and when it rings it reminds me of dancing in a club.
4) I'm realizing that I am a grandma: Lately I've been craving intense solitude where I can find a hammock, lay in it with a good book and just disappear from the world for awhile and not go out to downtown Raleigh.
5) I've decided that this summer is going to entail me working, taking trips to the ocean, and enjoying my last summer as a college student: And you know what? I'm okay with that.
6) Glozell's youtube videos legitimately make my life: Look her up and prepare to be lying on the floor gasping for breath. Thank you, Sam Cibs and Sabrina for introducing me to sheer comedic GENIUS.
My crook-huntin'-marathon-runnin'-rap-rockin'-sweet partner in crime, Brittany-she's what my younger cousins would call a "Forever Friend."
I've spent a lot of my time hunting for a big black stick. This isn't a figurative "that's what she said" a la The Office...it's actually true. I've been hunting with my other 2011-ers for a black crook that can be hidden on any part of the campus with only one inch showing...that's very little crooky and a school that's turning out to be a lot bigger than I thought.
Crook Hunt is a tradition that you can deem silly or important. It's a mixture of both (I mean, really. Shuffling your feet through mulch to find a black walking staff?), but it's made me realize some things:
1) I love my class. I really, really do. Through traditions like this one, I have been blessed to meet some of the most knock-you-down-hysterical people that just make looking under air vents (you think I'm joking...but I'm not) and creating strategies worth it.
2) We're getting close to finishing the last tradition of the junior class...and moving into senior year. Wow. It's just a few blocks away, y'all.
3) That people still surprise me. Some people who I would never have imagined to come hunt for this crook have come out, and it just thrills me to pieces. I'm loving seeing this whole, "Hey, let me step out of my shell and get involved" sort of thing.
4) I need to invest in some bug repellent, a rake, a bee-keeper suit (I refuse to get stung by bees looking for this thing), and a flashlight.
Tonight I had a really long life talk with Kellie Deaton. And she said something to me that I'm going to write down, blog about, say, do everything possible so that it will never be forgotten:
"When you find something that you love to do, vomit it on other people. Seriously. Radiate and vomit sunshine on them. That'll make you happy." Yeah.
And on that note: heeeeeeere crooky, crooky, crooky...
It's really hard for me to start things. Like my thesis for example. I feel like every time I type in a topic sentence it sounds so cliche: "Holden Caulfield was us and we were Holden Caulfield," "Catcher in the Rye still catches today," and my personal not-so-favorite: "It was the sentence that changed adolescence forever-" Cue Star Wars music and my adviser vomiting and giving me a failing grade. So far the things I'm trying to start are all things that could potentially change my life, be it GPA-wise or experience-wise:
1) My thesis: Adviser reads this, adviser grades this, adviser talks to the head of the department and tells her whether I suck or rock at a major that is potentially going to serve me usefully as I cobble my future together.
2) Living in the city after graduation: I should be looking at possible jobs. I should be looking at possible apartments. But when I do, I begin to get that sinking feeling in my stomach that signifies an immense panic attack (that can only be cured by watching Grey's Anatomy and having some coffee handy).
3) The GRE: Another torturous form of the SAT via computers. Same old song and dance: ace the English, do so-so on the math. I think what's worse is that when you get an answer wrong it tells you on the spot. "WRONG-go back one level, minion!"
4) Cleaning my room: The carpet has become like another shelf, housing a big blue bin that is spilling with (clean) clothes that need to be folded. I wade through a mass of papers, books, spotless tupperware, and c.d's. In the middle of the night when I had to get up to pee, I stumbled over my sock box and scattered argyle everywhere. And yet. It has been almost a month and I refuse. Maybe this is a sign that unless my room becomes uncluttered my life won't.
5) Accepting that not all relationships can last: This one just sucks a big one. Self-explanatory.
6) Sitting at a table to do work: Every time I try to start doing this, I get called by my mattress-topped bed with the down comforter that could stop a war and make everyone hug: "Oh, Kiran. You don't want to work in that uncomfortable space. Come lean against your boyfriend (pillow) and do your research here." And I wonder why I have the neck and back of an eighty-year-old man.
7) Realizing that our microwave is now dead: Ants invaded. Roommate sprayed with deadly insecticide. Other roommate tried to wash it out with soap and water (I want you pause and think about this one). Microwave went into an irreversible coma. RIP all things defrosted. Hello stovetop oatmeal.
Starting to realize these things is just hard-there is no "especially number five." All of these things are equally yucky in their own ways. And yet. I have a feeling that if I keep nagging myself to not go into hysterics and get these things done, I'll be able to figure it all out (one can only tolerate boiling water on the stove for so long).
Here's to when that day comes.
Hello from DC! I fall more in love with this city each time I return to it. So far Amy, Kasey, Meghan, Louisa, and I have been hanging out and having some fun adventures in the city (though we miss Kellie, Catie, Lindsay, and Sam!). We went to the Newseum today (which was awesome) and got to tour the Library of Congress (which made me wish that our library at MC was that big). I love how transportation friendly DC is, and I love that it is the center of all things political. Though we've seen some really cool things so far, I'm really looking forward to tomorrow. We're going to the Holocaust museum, and I'm really excited-not that I find what happened exciting, but the museum is just stunning. It was my favorite part about last year and I'm sure it will continue to take the number one spot. I got to see the actual concentration camps in Germany when I was eighteen and seeing the enormity of the horrific events that took place was eye-opening. This museum does it justice; the one part that always makes me cry is the children's section.
My group of friends have had some great laughs over the past few days. So here's to some more hilarious ones!
Staying up late, wearing sweats, hair sticking out at all random places, and trying really hard not to scream? Yup, it's the mid-term week before spring break, coined not-so-affectionately as Hell Week. Sheesh. If I had known when I was young that biology and math were going to plague me with trouble as I got older, I would've listened to tapes before I went to bed. Einstein I am not. This week brings along with it three exams, a few papers, thesis books that need to be read, and insanity taking over the brain. But at the same time, I know this crazy week will be replaced by another crazy week which will be replaced by another crazy week...it goes on. March Madness has taken on a new meaning! However I have a plum lot to look forward to because for the break, I am going to D.C with some lovely friends of mine.
Last year when I went, I hung out with Amy, Kasey, and Kellie, and we had the best time. However, this year's been a little different.I'm not going to lie. There were moments when I did not want to go because of occurrences that made me want to scream, cry, and made me wonder if my sanity was worth foregoing. And yet, this past weekend made me see a little clearer.
Kellie and I volunteered at the Buddy Basketball game where children with special needs can show off their serious game. I got to see some of the most adorable kids run around and have fun, all with the biggest smiles on their faces. And it made me realize at how trivial this whole spring break thing was, and that there are some things that are more important than things that in the long run really won't shape who you are as a person. Watching these kids were so inspiring and so eye-opening. It was a beautiful way to spend my Saturday.
And so, I'm really looking forward to spending some quality time with my friends and exploring the parts of DC that we didn't get to. Here's to getting through mid-term week! Buena suerte!
One of my absolute favorite Meredith traditions is the annual performance of The Vagina Monologues. This is when I'm always constantly surprised by the talent that pops on over to the theatre department. All sorts of women audition, older women, women who aren't involved in theatre but are biology, psychology, English, Spanish, and the like, most of whom leave us with our jaws dropping. This year was no different. The talent ranged far and wide, but the actual performances meant so much more to me than they have the last two years.
As a freshman, I loved being a part of the VM's. I didn't know as many people, but it was fun. Then there was sophomore year when I got a meatier monologue ("Because He Liked to Look at It"), one that allowed me to be funny but thoughtful; this was also the year that I knew a lot more people and had so much fun playing backstage with Spencer. This year I got the monologue I had been coveting since my first year (...think moaning. A lot of it.), but it made me feel a little nostalgic. I had to watch some of my senior ladies do their last performances. And then I had to think about the fact that I only get one more chance to do this beautiful work with my Meredith College family and that soon after I'll be leaving. It's a bit of a daunting milestone, this empowering piece marking the end of my college career, and I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I will say however, that during this process, under our fearless director Sara and all-over-the-place-hands-down-hilarious assistant director Lauren, the only thing that I could feel coming out of them was love and a sense of purpose. They knew that this was a show that was not to be taken lightly because it speaks volumes to the female gender. And along this journey, we were met with tons of laughs:
This show is a necessity for us to do each year. It teaches us to be proud of the fact that we're women. But more importantly, it teaches us to celebrate. So celebrate we did.
There are days when things just don't stop. Or rather, I don't stop. I just keep going and going and going, be it with school or work or my thesis...sometimes even fun things like socializing can be a chore. So today, I stopped. I stopped and came straight home after I got done at 1:30. I made myself some lunch (a delicious toasted sandwich and a huge bowl of grilled veggies) and just chilled out while I cooked.
Then I started again. Only this time with something that I love doing: catching up with old friends.
I skyped with my friend Brittany, who is this amazing, amazing friend of mine. She's teaching in Spain right now and has been going on all of these exciting adventures (she's heading out to Morocco tomorrow!) but still remains the same thoughtful, sensible, and hilarious individual that I know and love dearly. Bri's one of those girls who you can have a serious heart-to-heart with but never feel stupid. Lately I've been going through a lot about what I want to do with my life and even though she's a sea away, she still manages to reassure me that no, I am not crazy and that yes, no matter what I do I will be successful. Plus Brittany always has the funniest stories about the chicos in Spain, so it's always fun to get a taste of the culture :) (Core-100, much?).
Megan is another story. Megan Emily would probably be the queen of the Ya-Ya's, were such a group to exist. She is this bright, colorful, extremely entertaining ladysoul who is in Wallace, which is a little NC town right near Wilmington. She always has a wild story, cute shoes, and new hair to sport. Megan and I have this thing we do: we don't talk for ages, but somehow when we do, it's like time hasn't stopped. I'm reading this book right now called The Girls from Ames which is about eleven women who have been the best of friends since they were in the womb and are in their forties now. It's been so inspiring to read and one moment I'm reading about the spitfire named Kelly and the next thing I know I'm reaching for my phone, pressing the familiar buttons to dial Meg's number. The second she picked up the phone there was no awkward, "Hello?" the kind where you know the person who is calling (caller i.d., y'all, really) but still feel obligated to sound confused, but a, "Hello, lovely, what are you doing?" familiar Southern drawl that just envelopes you in a hug. With Megan there's no pretending. There's no judging. Actually it's the same for Brittany and Megan. I've never felt more relaxed when I talk to those two. Talking to Megan about weddings and people being arrested on the sides of the road and boys named Rufus made me ache to be in her adorable house that her mother decorated in an equally charming way, sipping on Starbucks and looking through old pictures and listening to music. We've decided to have a reunion of our own, Ames-style: the girls of Heilman Hall from freshmen year at the beach. So exciting.
After I got off the phone with Megan, I thought about the far-away and how sometimes when your friends are "far-away" you feel disconnected. I don't feel that way, though. After today, I feel more connected with two very special people who live in that far-away than I do with those who are close by to me.
I'm really glad that instead of going and going today, I stopped.
